Life of an Average Indian

This is how an average Indian spend his life. We are pointing out some facts which every Indian have to face in their lifetime.

  • Just born, receives a slap on the butt.
  • Injections and vaccinations.
  • Rubs shit on body, stinks.
  • Sleeps between parents, ruins their sex life.
  • Thrown into pre-nursery school at the age of 2 years.
  • School interviews, admission.
  • Has to carry the load of a bag like a donkey.
  • Exams, insults, exams, suspension, exam, PCM, tuitions, sports, exams, report cards, exams, warnings, exams, finds true love of life.
  • Schooling over, lover finds someone else in new college.
  • College life, fun, friendships, fests, movies, night outs.
  • No placement, depression, insults, family pressure.
  • Placed finally in an average company with an average profile. Takes parents on a pilgrimage.
  • Purchases Hero Honda Passion, aims for Royal Enfield.
  • Makes a girlfriend at office.
  • Transportation cost 5,000 INR, salary 15,000 INR.
  • Gets a Black Berry from company, happy but regrets later.
  • Gets an HP Laptop from company, happy but regrets later.
  • Working hours, all day, and all night except 2 to 5 am. (Thank you BlackBerry and laptop)
  • Sends roses by WhatsApp on Valentine’s Day.
  • Dates at chat-papdi stalls.
  • Drinks Officer’s Choice whisky.
  • Girlfriend marries a rich guy.
  • Distributes her wedding cards and carries her Doli.
  • Looks for a bride for an arrange marriage set up.
  • Rejects a girl.
  • Girl 2 rejects him.
  • Girl 3 rejects him.
  • Girl 4 rejects him.
  • Goes back to girl 1, apologizes, requests her, makes fake promises, she accepts proposal.
  • Marriage day, falls from the horse in front of in-laws.
  • Relatives criticize the food at marriage.
  • Finally the “night” cums, but he doesn’t.
  • Goes to a pilgrimage on honeymoon.
  • Somehow manages a “good news” after repeated trials.
  • Can’t feed two but waits eagerly for the third.
  • Wife throws pregnancy tantrums, wants “saffron Jalebi” “foot massage” “gets easily irritated”
  • Child is born, brings good luck to the world! Promotion in job, finally buys a Royal Enfield.
  • Buys condoms for the first time, father arrives from nowhere in the same medical shop. “Bhaiya ye nai Digene maangi thi maine to” (brother not this I asked for Digene) Father consoles him and gifts him the packet himself.
  • Wife doesn’t work but orders him to share kid’s responsibility.
  • Sleeps at 3 am after cleaning shit, condoms expire without usage.
  • Child goes to an average school, current income 25,000, school fees 6000 per month.
  • Expenses rise, stops savings for old age.
  • White hairs start popping out of head, loses hair on scalp.
  • Child goes to college.
  • God gifts Diabetes and Hypertension.
  • Pops pills after every meal.
  • Finally buys an Alto car on repeated requests by wife and kid. A day of happiness.
  • Fuel expenses rise to 20% of total income.
  • Gets the kid married, spends every coin saved all throughout life.
  • Kid insults him for not giving a good standard of life.
  • Still works hard to feed stomach and survive with basic essentials.
  • Finds a job after retirement as savings are zero.
  • Kid visits with family on every festival and takes back “sagan” from him.
  • Wife does all the household chores at the age of retirement, gets sad looking at her plight.
  • Finally saves basic essentials and leaves job at the age of 75.
  • Television & medicines become life.
  • Diseases become friends.
  • Wishes god for a new life “not as a human” though.
  • Struggle comes to an end one day, dead face carries a smile of freedom.

I got this post originally at Quora.com. So, a big Thanks to writer.

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